"So, what are you mixed with?"

If someone has ever asked you this, whether you are bi racial or not, how do you feel about it? Do you think this question says anything about the attitudes of the asker? If so, what do you think it says?

People have asked me this almost all my life and it is just as perplexing now as it was when I was younger. This question usually comes after someone makes a statement about me having "good hair". A stylist asked me this about a month ago when I was getting my ends trimmed. For the record...no I'm not bi racial. Both of my parents are black.

I've seen a lot lately on blogs and other sites about how black men (David Banner) prefer natural hair over relaxed hair or weaves, yet the black men's mags seem to still be full of women with long, straight weave and/ relaxed hair. And I've experienced this contradiction myself ( as I mentioned here). When my hair is wash and go (curly), I don't get half as much attention from guys as I do when it's straight. I think women can be just a contradictory as well...I get many more compliments from women on my straight hair than I do on my curly hair. We need to make up our minds.

I think natural hair, in all its textures is beautiful. I think straight hair is beautiful. But the most beautiful hair to me is the hair that's on the head of a woman who is proud of her heritage and doesn't let something as superficial as hair define her beauty.

The thing that bothers me the most about the "are you mixed" question is the mentality that usually lies behind it. It's like a back handed compliment. Of course nothing is wrong with being bi racial, but pure blackness is a beautiful,wonderful thing. Why do we still feel like our culture has to be "mixed" with something to be valuable and attractive? I've always heard people say mixed people are always pretty or that they can never be ugly. Is that because they're really beautiful or because they are that much farther away from being black? Oh, and Tia and Tamera are up there because they are who people would always say I looked like when the mixed conversation started...and because Sister,Sister was my favorite TGIF show!